A sign of the times

Would you believe that our biggest concern when we were telling people we were pregnant was that the news would make it out onto Facebook before we had a chance to tell everyone ourselves?

It's so weird to have to worry about that! But, we told our family on a Friday, our friends Saturday, and our church body on Sunday. Then, we wanted to send a few funny e-mails to spread the news at work on Monday, but we didn't want our co-workers to have already heard. So we actually begged the members of our church body not to congratulate us on Facebook until Monday afternoon! :) Isn't that pathetic?

Anyway, I thought you might like to read the letters my dear hubby Micah wrote to our co-workers! They're pretty entertaining!

To my co-workers:

Dear co-workers,

My husband and I recently found out we are expecting a very important guest, who plans to arrive in March and will stay with us indefinitely. We have a lot to do to get ready for our guest, so we'll be very busy! Because of this, I have turned in my resignation notice, and my last day will be Friday, August 28.

I have really enjoyed working with such a wonderful group of people, and I will miss you all. As the day of our guest's arrival draws nearer, though, I'm sure I will be very busy with getting things ready. We are planning on preparing a special room just for our guest, and we will also be trying to do other things to create a homey atmosphere (this guest doesn't get out much and probably won't be used to spending a lot of time with people, so we will have to ease into our relationship). I have also heard that the guest may have trouble sleeping through the night, so we are going to try to make the room as comfortable as possible in order to establish a regular sleep schedule.

There will be a lot of stress, and I bet I will start eating more to help me handle the strain. In fact, I'm afraid I might start gaining weight at the rate of about a pound per week until the visit, but I have heard of a great weight-loss plan that allows a person to lose about 15-20 pounds in less than a day, so I am planning on trying that around the time the guest arrives. As you might imagine, it can take a few days to recover from such a strenuous weight-loss plan, so I am planning on some bed-rest right after the arrival.

We appreciate all the support you've shown us, and we'd like for you to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we prepare for this big event in our lives. It's a little bit intimidating to be welcoming a new person into our home, especially when we don't yet know the guest's name, or even if it will be a boy or a girl, but one thing is certain: we will love him or her very, very much. We'll be sure to let you know all about our little guest just as soon as (s)he arrives!

-Magen

To Micah's co-workers:

Team,

I just wanted to let you know before you hear elsewhere that Magen has been diagnosed with a medical condition which has made it necessary for her to terminate her employment with our company.

The medical condition is known as primigravida. Essentially, it involves a microscopic organism that nests in an unsuspecting host and grows gradually more and more powerful over time. The host often experiences nausea, mood swings, and inexplicable cravings (all of which are driven by the chemical imbalances caused by the organism). As the organism develops, it begins to sap the vital nutrients from the host’s body and even hampers the host’s immune system. The organism’s growth is almost exponential, causing the host to gain weight at a phenomenal rate – especially toward the terminal stages of the condition.

The prognosis suggests that the next few months will be full of most of the above symptoms. However, there is some hope. Our specialist anticipates that around the beginning of next March, Magen’s body will naturally expel the organism, leaving her in some pain, but with a lovely little bundle of joy to make the whole thing worthwhile.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as we deal with this life-changing event.

-Micah