My most brilliant and offensive idea

Did you know that you can make human corpses into diamonds? It's true! I wouldn't joke about this sort of thing.

Ok, so I totally would, and do, joke about this all the time...but it's still true that it can be done!

So, naturally, my dear hubby and I have talked about turning his body into a diamond for me to wear after he's gone.

And, not for the normal sentimental reasons that you might think.

No, it's much more brilliant than that!

In 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17 (compliments of Biblegateway.com) it says:

15According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Did you catch that? And the dead in Christ will rise first. In that line lies my whole argument.

You see, if my husband precedes me in death, and then is made into a diamond for me to wear, then I will know before every other living being (if only for a split second) that Christ has returned.

Of course, this whole argument falls apart if you read this verse to mean what I think it probably means, which is that all the living will probably know that the dead are being raised because of the "load command."But that doesn't fit very well with our joke, now does it?

So, there you have it, my brilliant hole-ridden and horribly offensive idea!

*Please note that this is a joke, and not a post to encourage large theological debates.